Sex Toy Reviews for Experimental Fuckers #3
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The Lovehoney Sqweel is a unique sex toy created as the result of a competition and designed to simulate oral sex, especially cunnilingus. It has ten TPR (thermoplastic rubber) silicone¹ tongues on a wheel that spins inside a large, plastic housing. To be clear, these tongues are not 100% silicone, and it’s likely that this material is porous. I recommend using only water-based lubricants with this toy. I have not tried any silicone-based lubes with the Sqweel because I don’t want to risk the material degrading and my toy being ruined. Each tongue is about an inch wide, and the plastic housing is about 5″ long. The entire toy is the size of my palm and then some.
Three AAA batteries power this toy. They drive the motor, which spins the wheel of tongues in a lapping or flicking motion. There are three speed settings – low, medium, and high.
One of the Sqweel’s downfalls is how noisy it is. Even on its lowest speed setting, it produces a high-pitched whine. The medium setting is louder. The highest setting is even louder. I would compare the noise level of the high setting to a cordless drill with a dying battery. The whine isn’t as piercing as a dentist’s drill, and it’s a slightly grinding sound. This toy is not discreet.
The Sqweel sells with vibrators, but I wouldn’t call this toy a vibrator as it doesn’t really vibrate. When I think of a vibrator, I imagine the buzzing sensation (whether shallow and surface-level or deep and rumbly) that it provides. The Sqweel doesn’t buzz; it licks and flicks.
This toy arrives in a hinged metal box that I use to store my Sqweel when it’s not in use. A thin cardboard sleeve showing a close-up picture of the Sqweel’s tongues wraps around the metal box. Even though the picture might not give away what’s inside the box because this toy doesn’t really look like a sex toy, the tagline “A revolution in orgasms!” appears on the front of the package, so it’s not as discreet as it could be, but there are no models on the packaging. There’s a small Owner’s Guide that explains how to use and clean the toy.
A variety of accessories is available for this toy (sold separately). There are three different wheels called Sqweelers that replace the original ten-tongued wheel. The Pearl Sqweeler is the firmest of the three. Little ticklers line the outer edges and stimulate the labia, and raised bumps that stimulate the clitoris line the middle of the wheel.
The Wave Sqweeler has slim tongues on the inner part of the wheel. Instead of ticklers on the outer edges, there are flat, wavy flaps that hug the sides of the clitoris while the miniature tongues lick.
The Tingle Sqweeler is the softest of the three. This wheel has a wavy flap on one outer edge and dozens of tiny ticklers that flick the skin all over. It provides the most gentle stimulation of the three Sqweelers.
Finally, there’s the Sqweevee, a ring and flexible case that holds the Sqweel. The ring attaches the Sqweel to most vibrators. The ring wouldn’t fit around the large, padded head of the (Hitachi) Magic Wand, and it’s best suited for long, slim vibrators that have a more phallic shape. Lovehoney recommends using this accessory “with vibrators measuring between 3-3.5″ in circumference.” For more of a buzz (like I said, the Sqweel doesn’t really vibrate) or for penetration with simultaneous clitoral stimulation, use the Sqweel plus a long, slim vibe or dildo plus the Sqweevee.
I’ve never tried any of the Sqweel’s accessories personally, so I can’t comment on their effectiveness or rate them. I also haven’t tried the Sqweel 2, which is the current version of this toy. Lovehoney discontinued the original Sqweel and replaced it with the update. The latest addition to the Sqweel line is the Sqweel Go, a travel version of the standard Sqweel design that’s available in pink, purple, and white.
While I can’t compare the Sqweel and Sqweel 2, I can say that I’d expect that the current version is an upgrade. The Sqweel 2’s tongues are 100% silicone. It boasts 30% more power, which is definitely something I desire from my original. When my batteries aren’t fully charged, I actually lose the low speed setting completely. The medium setting is significantly weakened, and the high setting becomes the only useful one. The batteries don’t last nearly long enough. My original Sqweel lasts 20-30 minutes before it dies, so it’s a race to reach orgasm before that happens. Another potentially cool Sqweel 2 feature is a mode that reverses the direction in which the tongues spin. The Sqweel 2 doesn’t have any additional speed settings, but there are three modes, including something called a “flicker function.” The Sqweel 2 has a glossy plastic housing instead of a matte one, and it comes in both black and white. I think the white version is kind of snazzy.
Use lube with any of the three versions of the Sqweel to reduce drag. I find that I have to reapply lube when I use this toy. It’s quite a lube hog. Remember to use only water-based lubricants with this toy. Use a warming lube or soak the wheel in warm water before use for a more realistic sensation.
I didn’t have trouble cleaning this toy. Just twist the side of the housing and take it apart. The wheel of tongues slips out and fits back inside in only one direction, so I couldn’t screw it up. I clean the plastic housing with soap and water. However, the Sqweel is not waterproof! Remove the batteries before cleaning and be careful not to get water inside the battery compartment. I dry the housing with a towel but allow the tongues to air dry so that they don’t collect lint. Replace the cap when the toy isn’t in use.
The way the Sqweel’s tongues felt against my labia and clitoris felt pleasing. On the low and medium speed settings with gentle stimulation, the tongues did feel a bit like the tip of a tongue teasingly lapping at me. On the high setting, the stimulation is too rough to feel like licking. Instead, the tongues are slapping against my clitoris, and it feels maybe more like a finger than a tongue. I prefer to use the Sqweel vertically. Use it horizontally for a different sensation. For additional novelty, use the Sqweel to stimulate the nipples, penis, or anus.
This toy has a safety feature that sometimes prevents me from feeling enough pressure. When the Sqweel presses against the body, there’s a pressure point that will stop the wheel of tongues from moving. I require direct clitoral stimulation in order to reach orgasm, and I wish the pressure point for this feature was less sensitive.
- The Sqweel 2’s tongues are silicone.
- There are three speed settings (low, medium, and high). The Sqweel 2 also has three modes, including a “flicker function,” and the direction of the wheel is reversible.
- The Sqweel 2 is 30% more powerful.
- Both versions are easy to clean.
- This toy is a unique oral sex simulator.
- Use this toy to stimulate body parts other than the clitoris, which provides novelty.
- The Sqweel 2 comes in both black and white, a choice the original doesn’t offer.
- There’s a travel version of this toy called the Sqweel Go, which also comes in several colors.
- The battery life of the Sqweel is absolutely horrible.
- This toy runs on three AAA batteries, which kind of sucks, but at least they aren’t watch batteries.
- The Sqweel is noisy, so it’s not a discreet toy.
- Neither version of this toy is waterproof.
- Use only water-based lubricants with this toy and have lube handy because the Sqweel is a lube hog.
- I would love a waterproof and rechargeable Sqweel for the price.
- The pressure point stop safety feature ends up being a hindrance because it’s too sensitive.
¹Lilly’s “‘TPR Silicone’ is a Myth” is an informative read.