Sex Toy Reviews for Experimental Fuckers #15
Happy Rabbit G-Spot and Realistic Rabbit Vibrators
This review contains affiliate links.
I looked for my first rabbit vibrator for a long time. Probably too long. Honestly, I felt overwhelmed because there are so many options. All I knew was that I wanted a body safe, rechargeable, waterproof rabbit vibe that didn’t cost a fortune. I didn’t care if it thrusted or had rotating beads, but I worried that I was still expecting too much. Well, until I found Lovehoney’s Happy Rabbits.
The only time another person bought me a sex toy was when I got my Happy Rabbit Realistic Rabbit Vibrator. Long story short: I have an Amazon Wish List linked to my Sex Forums profile, and I add to it only items that cost $20 or less because the idea of a kind stranger/admirer buying me a gift turns me on, but I feel uncomfortable about that gift being expensive. Well, this friend – a man more than twice my age – noticed my struggle to decide on a rabbit vibe. He was looking for a rabbit for his wife and took interest in my dilemma. Once I decided, he sent me a personal message offering to buy it for me to “show his gratitude” for my presence on the site and, I assume, for making public my quest to find the perfect rabbit for me. I naturally expressed uncertainty at first because although I think the price is reasonable, this toy costs more than my $20 limit. Lovehoney sells upgraded versions of their Happy Rabbits for $79.99. He assured me that he wasn’t concerned about the price. Even so, I found my Happy Rabbit on Amazon for a lower price¹, and we agreed. I felt flattered and excited. I hoped to write a positive review to show my friend that I appreciated his gift. I won my Happy Rabbit G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator in Lady Cheeky’s huge Valentine’s Day giveaway last year.
At the time, Lovehoney offered three Happy Rabbits: the G-Spot, which has a bulbous, rounded tip; the Natural, which is softly tapered at the tip but still has a curved shaft; and the Realistic, which has the most phallic shape of the three. I chose the Realistic because I liked its shape the best, and the shape is the only difference between my two Happy Rabbits. The G-Spot definitely tugs at my pubic bone more than the Realistic does.
Plus, they’re now USB rechargeable. They’re still silicone and waterproof, but they have only two motors, which doesn’t seem like an upgrade. For Fifty Shades of Grey fans, Lovehoney offers the Happy Rabbit G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator’s shape combined with the branding of their Fifty Shades of Grey: The Official Pleasure Collection line of toys in the Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator.
The packaging is tasteful but not discreet. There is a huge picture of the vibrator on the outer sleeve. Under the sleeve is a sturdy box, which contains the vibrator, charger, storage pouch, and instruction booklet on top of a plastic tray.
Because the toy comes with a storage pouch, I don’t use the box for storage. It’s too bulky.
My Happy Rabbit Realistic Rabbit Vibrator was the perfect choice for me. I think it’s absolutely worth the full retail price. Even my original version is rechargeable. The indicator light changes color from red to orange to yellow to green while the toy charges. It’s fully charged when the light is green.
It’s not just waterproof; it’s submersible waterproof².
This rabbit is silicone and ABS plastic, but I can’t boil it to sterilize it because it has three motors³. Instead, I clean it using soap and water, toy cleaner, wet wipes, or a 10% bleach solution. However, I let it air dry because drying it with a towel leaves fuzz behind. It comes with a storage pouch and has three constant vibration speeds, including in the rabbit arm, and two patterns of vibration in the shaft only for a total of five options. The patterns in the shaft are interesting because the shaft contains two motors. The second pattern is a pulsating that alternates between the two motors. The vibrations are powerful enough to make water-based lube bead on the shaft, and they’re definitely on the rumbly side. I love the feeling of the first pattern thrumming inside me. Two buttons make for easy operation, even for a beginner. The base is a great place to hold the toy during use, and the buttons are easily accessible. The long button controls the shaft while the small, round button controls the rabbit arm.
Just press the button to turn the motor(s) on, press it to cycle through the vibration options, and hold it down to turn the motor(s) off. The toy starts on whatever settings it was on when it was last turned off. These vibrators are really quiet. Lovehoney’s Happy Rabbits aren’t as travel friendly as they could be because they don’t have a travel lock. It has 5″ of insertable length – I only use about 3.5″ – and 5″ of girth at its widest point, and I love its size.
It’s filling without being difficult to insert, so I don’t need to warm up before I use it, and the rounded head isn’t uncomfortable against my cervix while the rabbit ears are super flexible.
Luckily, this particular rabbit vibe is perfect for my anatomy. The rabbit ears are the right distance from the shaft to touch my clitoris in an exact way when the shaft is in my vagina. I usually reach orgasm using a pattern internally with one rabbit ear on each side of my clit. I like to either rock the toy up and down inside me or back and forth so that the rabbit ears brush against my clit from side to side or use a very shallow thrusting motion.
Rabbit vibrator tip:
While choosing a rabbit vibrator, I learned that it’s a pretty subjective and personal choice. I chose this rabbit vibe over other options because it offers the best combination of features for me. There are a ton of options, and I highly recommend taking the time to carefully consider the features of each potential purchase. Make a wise decision based on which option has the most desired features to offer. I love that this one is rechargeable because I intended to use it a lot. The three motors impressed me, and the vibrations are powerful enough for me to reach satisfying orgasms. I love the shape with its phallic head. I understood the appeal of cock-shaped toys after buying my first realistic dildo. The size is perfect for me. If I had to choose, I prefer girth over length because I want to feel full and a bit stretched but not poked, and I don’t like cervical stimulation. I wanted a body-safe toy, and all of the Happy Rabbit vibrators are body-safe silicone. I didn’t want a glass rabbit for my first rabbit vibrator experience because glass is hard and unforgiving. Silicone has squish and flexibility. It’s waterproof (read: easy to clean), comes with a storage pouch, and fits my anatomy at a reasonable price. Pinch me!
However, my experience isn’t universal. I can’t guarantee that someone else would love this particular rabbit vibrator as much as I do. Things to consider before buying a rabbit vibrator include:
- How it works – Is it rechargeable or battery-powered? If it’s not rechargeable, what kind of batteries does it run on? I hate watch batteries. For toys that see regular use, I’d recommend something rechargeable. Is it easy to use? How many buttons does it have?
- Power – Consider buzzy vs. rumbly vibrations. Is there more than one speed setting? Does the toy offer vibration patterns? Some people need constant vibration while others prefer the variety that patterns provide. On the other hand, are there so many options that they’re overwhelming?
- Size, shape, and texture – These features are extremely subjective and based on a person’s preferences when it comes to length and girth as well as whether or not they enjoy the sensation of texture and how much. Know what to look for. I know that I like a shorter or an average length between 4″ and 7″ with a diameter between 1.5″ and 2″ to give me the full, slightly stretched feeling I crave. I love cock-shaped toys and toys with a prominent head that pops when I thrust while some people prefer toys that don’t have a realistic shape. Texture I can take or leave. If a toy I buy has texture, I like some texture but not a lot. Just enough to make the sensations interesting.
- Anatomy – The biggest complaint about rabbit vibrators is that they don’t fit everyone’s anatomy. If the distance between the shaft and the rabbit arm puts them too close together or leaves too much space between them, then hitting the right spots is difficult. Is the rabbit arm long enough with the shaft inserted? Does any part of the toy jab, stab, or poke?
- Material – Body-safe materials are a requirement. I don’t compromise on this point, and I don’t think anyone else should either. However, there are other considerations when it comes to material. Is the toy soft or hard? How customizable is it? Is it nonporous? Color seems superficial, but it’s an important consideration for some people. Color wasn’t one of my primary considerations, but purple is my favorite color.
- Care and cleaning – Is it splashproof, waterproof, or submersible? Some toys aren’t even splashproof. How much effort will cleaning require? Can I sterilize it and/or share it with a partner? A vibrator has a motor and therefore isn’t dishwasher safe and won’t survive boiling.
- Price – This point is self-explanatory, but most people are on a budget, so it’s important to consider how much a toy costs. Where’s the value for money? Try to get as many desirable features as possible for the lowest price. I definitely recommend comparison shopping.
- Additional features – Does it come with a storage pouch? Does it have a travel lock? These features aren’t necessary for the toy to function properly or for me to enjoy it, but they’re nice to have.
- The Happy Rabbit Realistic Rabbit Vibrator has the most phallic shape of the three Happy Rabbits, which I like, but there are two other Happy Rabbits that offer different shapes.
- This vibrator is silicone with an ABS plastic base. Both of those materials are body safe.
- This toy comes with a storage pouch.
- I’d definitely recommend this rabbit vibe for beginners. It’s a good size for most people. The three motors are powerful, and this toy offers both constant vibration and patterns. It’s easy to operate with just two buttons.
- I have independent control over the shaft and rabbit arm.
- The rabbit arm has three vibration speeds.
- This particular rabbit fits my anatomy perfectly.
- It’s rechargeable.
- It’s submersible.
- It’s quiet.
- It’s affordable without being cheap.
- Enjoyment of rabbit vibrators is subjective, and no rabbit will fit everyone’s anatomy.
- I recommend using only water-based lubricants with this toy.
- Lovehoney’s Happy Rabbits don’t have a travel lock.
¹Although I recommend avoiding buying sex toys on Amazon, I’m guilty of doing it myself.
²The Lovehoney Web site says it’s submersible while the instruction booklet says it’s only splashproof, so I asked Lovehoney for clarification. They reassured me that the information on their site is accurate.
³Three! Two are in the shaft – one near the base and one near the tip – and the third one is in the rabbit arm.