Sex Toy Reviews for Experimental Fuckers #14
Anal Fantasy Collection Elite Vibro Balls
This review contains affiliate links.
I put off writing this review for months. It was partially a matter of life getting in the way. I blog as a hobby, and I haven’t made any money from affiliate programs yet, so I have a full-time day job. The holidays are the busiest time of year where I work, so I worked a lot of mandatory overtime and didn’t have time for much else. I was also pretty depressed. It took all of my energy some days to force myself to get out of bed and go to work. My fiancé and I didn’t have sex between September and December. Plus, I’m honestly just not excited about this toy.
I’m reviewing the Elite Vibro Balls from Pipedream’s Anal Fantasy Collection. It’s no secret that Pipedream hasn’t done their reputation any favors with the recent release of their J-Law Hacked Love Doll that capitalizes on the leak of Jennifer Lawrence’s private photos last year. I’m not in any way defending Pipedream, and this review – like all of my reviews – will reflect my honest opinions about the Elite Vibro Balls based on my experiences.
The Elite Vibro Balls and all Anal Fantasy Collection toys are part of a kit that contains the toy itself, two black finger condoms, one Moist Anal Lube Insertz, one Anal Eaze desensitizing cream Insertz, and a small bottle of Refresh Toy Cleaner.
However, this photo of my obviously broken Elite Vibro Balls shows what I had left when I took pictures for this review. I promise to explain later.
This toy is essentially two large anal beads connected by a stretchy, flexible silicone cord, but there are inner balls that freely roll around inside the beads. The feeling of shaking them in my hand feels much like my LELO LUNA Beads Mini, but the sensation isn’t as strong. I don’t know if maybe the inner balls of the Elite Vibro Balls have a coating or are too big. The rattle of the Elite Vibro Balls definitely isn’t as loud as my LUNA Beads Mini. They don’t feel as heavy, even though both toys’ inner balls are metal. They also don’t provide the more powerful vibration of my LUNA Beads Mini. I wouldn’t recommend using this toy as Kegel balls mainly because of their size. They’re too big to fit comfortably, and the cord is too long, so they easily fall out of my vagina. The Elite Vibro Balls aren’t effective as Kegel balls, but that’s not their intended purpose. I only tried it because I was curious.
As anal beads, I wouldn’t recommend this toy for beginners. While the balls aren’t huge, there are smaller ones out there for people who have literally never engaged in any type of anal play with toys before. I used plenty of lube and was able to fully insert the toy on the second try. I recommend using a thicker water-based lube for anal play with silicone toys. The part of the cord that connects the two balls is a bit long, so I had a hard time inserting the second ball because the cord got in the way. I inserted the first ball, and I had to wiggle to cord deeper until the second ball touched my body before I could insert the second ball. They feel pleasantly filling, and I really enjoyed gently tugging on the retrieval loop while I rubbed circles over my clitoris with my finger. A dildo in my vagina at the same time makes the Elite Vibro Balls feel even more filling, and the external stimulation around my anus made my orgasm more powerful. The entire outside of the Elite Vibro Balls is nonporous, body safe silicone, which is easy to clean. I recommend boiling this toy to sanitize it, which is possible because it doesn’t have a motor. Other cleaning options are soap and water, a 10% bleach solution, and toy cleaner or wet wipes.
There are a couple of things about this toy that I don’t like. First, the vibration of the inner balls is dull. With the toy inserted, I can’t feel the movement of the inner balls at all. All I feel is the size of the balls, and even tugging on the retrieval loop doesn’t enhance the vibration. Maybe the vibration would be more noticeable with smaller or heavier inner balls. The main thing I don’t like is the cord. As I said, the part that connects the two beads is too long. Well, the part with the retrieval loop is too short.
With both Elite Vibro Balls inside me, the base of the retrieval cord presses against my anus, and it’s so small and flexible that I worried about losing the loop and the toy in my ass. I figured out that I enjoyed tugging on the cord because I was only comfortable using the toy if I kept a finger in the retrieval loop the whole time. The silicone becomes very slippery when it’s covered in lube, and the cord is so stretchy that I snapped myself in the ass while removing the beads because the loop slipped off my finger. Finally, I have major concerns about the strength of the cord because it’s quite thin. I took a ball in each hand and pulled them apart, and I was able to snap the cord with my hands.
I don’t think this anal toy is safe for anal use. I’m going to keep the bead that’s attached to the part of the cord with the retrieval loop because I want to see if one bead works better than two as a Kegel ball, so I used scissors to cut off the little nub that was left from the broken cord.
I’m going to flame test the other piece of the toy.
When it comes to the other items in the kit, I think the finger condoms are a good idea, especially for inserting the toy when it comes to anal play and people who have vaginas. Put on the finger condom to insert the toy and take it off before touching her vagina to avoid the transfer of bacteria and prevent infections.
The toy cleaner is only alright. It smells like the blowing bubbles that come with a wand and foams a little, which makes it feel a bit like soap, but the toy still retained a smell after I washed it with the toy cleaner, so I ended up boiling it anyway.
I didn’t even try the Anal Eaze desensitizing cream Insertz. I’ve written before about why desensitizing agents and anal sex don’t mix. I threw away that piece of the kit immediately. I did try the Moist Anal Lube Insertz because it’s not a desensitizing lube, and the small tube from the kit provided enough lube for one use.
- The Elite Vibro Balls are part of a convenient anal play kit that includes finger condoms, lube, and toy cleaner.
- The two large anal beads contain inner balls that freely roll around inside them to create the vibration, which means there’s no motor. Boil this toy to sanitize it. I highly recommend sanitizing anal toys when possible.
- The Elite Vibro Balls feel filling, and it’s possible to use this toy in addition to other toys like clit vibes or dildos.
- This toy is body safe silicone.
- Pipedream continues to damage their own reputation with some of the toys they make and advertising that turns off potential customers because people perceive it as sexist or racist. Understandably, they’re a company some people don’t want to support.
- While the Elite Vibro Balls are quiet, the vibration is dull and isn’t even noticeable with the toy inserted. I believe that either the metal inner balls have a coating or are too big to provide the space needed for them to move around.
- Even though they’re designed much like a lot of Kegel balls, they aren’t effective as Kegel balls because they’re too big, which makes them uncomfortable, and the cord is too long, so the balls don’t stay in the vagina.
- This toy is definitely an intermediate anal toy because it’s a little too big for a beginner or someone who has never tried any type of anal play before. It’s not a huge toy though, so it’s one someone could easily work up to.
- The cord is absolutely awful. The part that connects the two beads is too long while the part with the retrieval loop is too short. The retrieval loop is too small and flexible and isn’t a safe base for an anal toy. The cord is very stretchy and becomes very slippery when it’s covered in lube, but it’s impossible to use this toy without getting the cord covered in lube, so I snapped myself in the ass with the cord while I was trying to remove the beads. The worst thing about the cord, however, is that I was strong enough to snap it by pulling the beads apart. An anal toy needs a stronger cord.
- I don’t recommend even trying the Anal Eaze desensitizing cream Insertz. Anal play and desensitizing agents don’t mix, and someone who can’t feel pain as well might hurt themselves without knowing it.
¹I’m not sure if the spelling error is on the bottle or online.